New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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