she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
