Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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