ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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