Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
