If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
