i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
