Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
