i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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