was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
