the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
