I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
