walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
