Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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