Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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