in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
