Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pants are for mortals
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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