if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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