yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we made out on top of his cat.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
