she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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