woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
soo... how was my night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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