so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize