Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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