OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
