If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Did I show you my penis last night?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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