i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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