when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
