Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
