I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
