Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
