9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
