whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
