I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
