he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
