You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
