i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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