Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
