She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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