so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
