I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
