Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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