Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
