BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
