you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
