My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Randomize
