you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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