she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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