just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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