i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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