She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Randomize
