Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
