So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Duck Duck Cougar?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Small penises have feelings too.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
