I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
