This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
