It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
