I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
