I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
