scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
