Soap is not a condiment
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
