Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
