oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
