she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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