That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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