my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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