i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's not a walk of shame if you run
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
