I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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