My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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