She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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