we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
