There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
