we have officially lost it.
Screwed.edu
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
