There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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